Exploring the Power of Interconnectedness: Love, Media, and Beyond Pt.1

I. In A Daze

What is your favorite love story? Is it from a book, movie, or tv show? A book turned into a show or movie? A play? A book turned into a movie, and then a play? Does it come from a poem? A song? Where are the fan fiction people out there? Your own family, perhaps a cute grandparents' story? Comic book? A piece of art, abstract art?

Think about it:

Is love and romance everywhere we turn?

If we reflect on love and the abundance of variations on where it arises, it’s everywhere. Like, holy shit, right? We have grown into a world where love has become the entirety of the root of our desires. Who knows, maybe it always has been! But the difference between now and way back when, to the ancient Romans, Greeks, Egyptians (or any part of history you prefer to reflect back to), is that we have love directed at us at all times.

Predominantly due to the entertainment industry. Even when we consider the non-romantic genres of entertainment: action, science fiction, fantasy, comedy, and crime; the protagonist will still have a love story that plays to the plot. We can ask ourselves why but the answer is obvious. Because we demand love, to have our focus be finding or fighting for it, to end up with our so-called soulmates living out our romantic fantasies.

In the world of entertainment, it's nearly ubiquitous how romance finds its way into almost every piece of content. However, this movement is not exclusive to entertainment alone. Media, as a powerful influencer, consistently incorporates themes of love into its marketing strategies to effectively drive sales.

Remember that Wrigley Extra Gum two-minute commercial with a rendition of I Can’t Help Falling in Love where he drew their love story on the wrappers? (If you don't, please click the link)

Nonetheless, a gum commercial had people in tears. After 48 hours, the commercial went viral and had 40 million views. Again, I can’t emphasize this enough, a commercial for gum took us on an emotional journey teasing at our heartstrings, all because we need the idea of love.

Did I ever see anyone actually write cute love snippets on their gum wrappers? No, unfortunately not, but the commercial made a huge impact, especially for Extra Gum which reversed its decline in sales after two years. (This link will show you the stats- not as exciting)

So yeah, everyone has their favorite movie, song, or character (maybe even commercial) that they form their desires. I mean, how can you not fantasize about love and your own wants when it’s everywhere? It isn’t crazy to find yourself in a mood of desperation when it's being shoved in your face.

You aren't supposed to blame people ever, but I can't help but call out one person for this monopolizing craving. Shakespeare. We all saw it coming; we all know it. That guy really shifted the world with Romeo and Juliet. Most teachers in the United States have us read Romeo and Juliet for the English curriculum, a play of intense desire written in the late 1500s. It seems almost impossible to imagine that a piece of writing from centuries ago still has this much of an impact on modern-day society.

Some could argue that almost every love story goes off of the forbidden lovers' troupe. There are essentially just baby troupes off of it; enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, the love triangle, opposites attract, and so on. It all involves some type of idea that we can’t be together, but we so badly want to be together. He not only made us feel seen by showing our fantasies of love, but he also gave us that thirst.

I’m not going to say I don’t love it; nothing has been better than season two of Bridgerton. The whole scene of Anthony telling Kate she is the bane of his existence. Or the love triangle in Vampire Diaries, unpopular opinion here I am, team Stefan, and the friendship then lovers portrayed in Heartstopper, of course, had me in happy tears.

It is obvious how badly we want to love and to be loved, and are completely okay with our own drama to add some spice to our lives.

But do you see that it everywhere: on screens, in songs, by our own loved ones? And that with time, it’s only normal that your expectations start to develop? When you are given an idea of what you should want from the beginning of your life, how does one not create their identity around it? With all this being said, I couldn’t imagine a world where we didn’t have it all around us, and I truthfully don’t want to. Even so, we are love parched that the search for it has been hypnotizing.

Seeing people in love, characters, or, more importantly, people in real life is a blessing. But the love hypnosis we are put under has taken over our mindsets to the extent to which we are allowing ourselves to lose in other important departments. We are utterly mesmerized, and it makes us forget the other relationships in our lives. We should all recognize that this life is more than just possible romantic prospects, and I believe that's why Barbie (besides having a glorious cast) really made an impact. Shakespeare, and now the rest of entertainment and media, has put us under hypnosis; our awareness consists chiefly of love searching. But it's time to either snap those fingers into reality or, hey, maybe just add to the memorizing spell (hypnosis tends to be relaxing and keeps you focused).

Think About This:

1. Considering when we aren’t trying to conquer our quest for love, what are we doing?

2. How are we filling our time?

3. What else, or shall I say, who else is there?

II. Let's Find Our Interconnectedness Foundations

And right about now, you're probably like, 'Okay, we get it. Love isn't all we need blah blah blah. Love myself blah blah blah.' But I don't care who you love, if that's your life goal, or you are even anti-love; you do you. I am writing not to emphasize what we already know.

I am trying to help build that bridge of awareness for the other relationships that have a giant impact on our lives. Our long-term best friends, new friends, coworkers, parents, siblings, etc. Basically, the other people who affect our daily lives, yet they never make it to the vision boards or goal-setting conversations.

Why? Because having friendships, best friendships, healthy relationships with our family, and taking care of them is principal. Our relationships in our lives are what make this life amazing. When they are cared for. And that care needs to come from desire, that is interconnectedness. Similar to the desire we feel in our romantic relationships and the need for that version of love.

I have eight best friends (some for years; 20, 17, 11, and 5, to be exact). To give context, five of these best friends are in one group. Most of us went to elementary school together, we all went to the same middle school, and then we became a solidified friend group in high school. Anyone who knows me personally knows who these five are. The other three are best friends I met while in college. They have become the little sisters I always wanted (I am a solid one year older). And yes, the hometown friends know the college friends, and we all get along swimmingly. They are my ride-or-dies, my family, and there won’t ever be a time on this planet when they are not my friends; they are the ones closest to me.

My confidence in these friendships isn’t because they are perfect friendships (what even is a perfect friendship?) nor because it has just been years of development. There is a common saying that claims if you have been friends for longer than seven years, then you are friends for life, and maybe that is true, but it isn’t because we just naturally click or have an abundance of similarities. We do hold a lot of the same virtues, like loyalty, ambition, and respect. But while we hold kindred core virtues, when I look at these eight people and our day-to-day personalities, we are not very similar at all.

We all have very different careers, hobbies, and ideas for the future. In spite of our differences, these eight friends, along with myself, put a hell of a lot of work into our friendships. There have been many moments of bitching each other out, crying, and completely utter frustration, but we always mend these predicaments because we choose to. Although our shared virtues are what may have brought us together (without at first knowing it), it also isn’t the secret to having undoubted friendships.

So what is the secret?

Find out next week for Pt 2!

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