The Power of Empathy: Building Bridges in a Disconnected World for Millennials and Generation Z

It's the stereotypical word that every profound individual nowadays likes to mention: Empathy. Dick, Fred Astaire's character in Funny Face with Audrey Hepburn, is the perfect example of how so many of us use and see the word. Otherwise, using the term to our own advantage.

I know… I know that you, someone who is, most likely, reading another self-development piece, could be getting a little sick of hearing this word. That you will be reading a repeat of what you already know. Don't worry; I won’t be focusing on any research or how to apply the word’s definition to your life. Although I will quote from Brené Brown, who has spent years researching it and empathetic people. If you want to understand the word in-depth, read Atlas of the Heart.

I am mentioning empathy because of my general frustration with the lack of depth of understanding in the world. When not talking in a professional or educational setting, the word hardly ever gets brought up. We sit in an Intro to Psychology 101 class (how many years ago?), learn the definition, and that’s that. The next thing you know, that’s the extent most people will go…for the entirety of their lives. They learn the definition and, maybe, won’t be a complete dick for a month. Then, they move on.

There will be little reminders of the word here and there, but those uninterested in self-growth won’t pay much attention. Consistently, empathy will just be this known word that is always in the back of the subconscious, rarely thought of. So this isn’t for the people who often read psychology and self-help, the ones in therapy, or those who involve it in their daily practice. We know the word, practice it, and hopefully continue to learn and grow. As empathy has many elements.

Instead, this is a piece confessing how frustrating it is being the person who is hyper-aware of it and how living in a society with people who think they do but don’t is beyond frustrating.

The:

Well, I can put myself in their shoe’s people;

Half listens, but the phone is in their hand;

Yes, I can share how I feel

People.

Now I don’t think having the constant refresher of all conversations of empathy shouldn’t be this big sigh moment, right? If you are reading this, it is because, in some capacity, you have empathy; you wouldn’t see the title and be interested if you didn’t. I hope you realize that if you haven’t already. I believe from having the desire to read that you have a kind-hearted nature and a desire to be a supportive person. Being there for others when they need someone to confide in. This is an outstanding achievement; unfortunately, many people choose not to familiarize themselves and shy away from the basic forms of empathy! There should be a sense of price if you are someone who does, in fact, care.

Seriously, please look in the mirror and tell yourself you’re proud.

I wanted to bring up empathy, not solely because of its obvious importance to ourselves, but because I also think it’s relevant to acknowledge being in a society where so many people just don’t care. As a millennial generation z cusp and a woman, I often feel frustrated because of these disconnected personalities collectively spreading.

The personalities:

I don’t care

My way or the highway

Every man for themselves

(I mean, do I tell my friends every time we watch a horror movie that I would not look back if they fell? Yes. If a psycho scary man killer was coming at me, I’m sorry, but my first reaction in regression to the flight or fight response would be flight)

​ I get it, though; there have been moments when I have refused to care about a person or situation. Well, the world is shit anyways attitude.

The younger generations, starting with millennials and trickling down to generation z, we have dealt with a lot. Every year, it feels as if the world is constantly crumbling in a new way every other day. There is so much tragedy all around in what looks like almost every form possible. To top it all off, we live in a world where we can see any news from across the globe, not just from news platforms. I think it’s safe to say that we ditched the typical news reporting outlets our parents use and now get most of our information from social media. Because we feel as if it’s true information that’s not, or less, skewed on the political spectrum.

We can see someone on TikTok post themselves after the bombings in Ukraine, the people in the Black Lives Matters movement getting abused by the police, or the scientists themselves live-streaming being arrested for climate protest. I, too, like to receive my knowledge from the people themselves and not from the traditional news media. I was taught at college, in a media ethics course, that the news is trying to divide us politically. I do think that’s obvious, especially here in the United States, and we are all aware of that. Social media tailors to your algorithm, but you can always find the uncensored truth if you search for it.

But when we do search for it and see these tragedies, significant movements, and overall new heavy information on a daily basis, it only makes sense that we can’t care about everything. It’s overwhelming, and it sucks. The downside to having all this at our fingertips is that when we do, we get overwhelmed; we hit this state of, well, I need to be selfish because there is nothing I can do. The empathy starts fading away from a large scale of well, I can’t actively fight and protest for every cause to the small scale of our day-to-day lives. I don’t think we even realize it.

I, ages 21-22, went on this whole I can’t care anymore path. A long string of events led me to believe I should no longer tend to people. From a young age, during high school and carrying into college, I felt I had a lot of pressure from those around me to be their emotional support person. I thought something was wrong with me. The number of people that would tell me their deepest darkest shit made me feel like I was a beacon for depression and despair. I was constantly the friend, member, or even stranger that people would trauma dump on. I can’t tell you how many times I have had to sit down and talk to someone while they were crying, not themselves, or having to make sure they didn’t harm themselves. I received texts, calls, and even pictures linked to darkness on a continuous loop. I thought I had a bad aurora and gave off an energy that radiated anguish. I was confused because most days, I thought I presented myself as joyful. So after some time, I had compassion fatigue.

Then, let’s also tie in Donald Trump’s presidency. Stating his name and discussing his presidency feels equivalent to the Harry Potter universe of Voldemort...

He who must not be named.

Having said that, something in the world felt like it had shifted. I was 17 when he became president. From my perspective, darkness and true colors were shown. I saw privileged white kids at my school screaming Build a wall and around the corner, to see others crying. It was an array of silence and noise that I will never forget. Since that moment of his announced win, it felt as if the tragedy was happening every few months.

It felt like shit was spiraling in any way possible. With a combination of everything, I lost a part of myself. Not to lose myself from feeling depressed, but if you were at those times, I understand entirely. It was more as if I allowed this chunk of my personality, having empathy and taking the extra time that I did love doing, to be a listener, was gone. I spent two years thinking I was taking the necessary steps to focus on my time, but in reality, I was escaping being a real person. The person I wanted to be, the person I am.

“Empathy, the most powerful tool of compassion, is an emotional skill set that allows us to understand what someone is experiencing and to reflect back that understanding.”

- Brené Brown

I think it’s okay to take your time, and I think it’s okay to allow yourself breaks from the pains of friends, family, and strangers. However, since so many people live by this, it’s me, myself, and my personality; we need to never do what my 21-22-year-old self did. Which was trying to push away empathy purely because other people were. Since my younger years, I have been a shoulder to cry on for many and an observant listener who knew what to say and when to say it.

Similar to Brené Brown, I felt as if I also had superpowers from a young age because I modestly knew people. I believe those who hold empathy, compassion, and intellect are all superheroes. Of course, it’s okay not to put on our capes and be the hero in every situation, but I believe we should never retire the cape permanently.

The frustration I feel towards the many people in this world who don’t continue to educate themselves in the world of self-help is my exact motivation. I want it to be yours too. Being solely selfish is not the way to get there. I don’t mean not putting yourself first (you deserve to do that). I mean acting like an ass, not thinking and acting with compassion and empathy to those around you. The self-absorbed attitude isn’t just lonely; this perspective gives you an excuse to act without thought to others. With time comes shit; we all have our shit.

We can’t allow the collective energy of the people surrounding us in the world to revolve around selfishness. It is up to the people who continuously learn, appreciate, and fight to keep doing so. And yes, now is a great time to do your head nodding from self-realization that you are this awesome superhero-type person in a world full of possible and probable ignorance. I always remind myself and my best friends how cool we are for being caring, intellectual beings in a world where we could so easily not be.

Thankfully, I realized that the chunk of me that was missing- my cape and superpowers- was the person I always wanted to be. I worked even harder to get it back. I take great pride in being compassionate, respectful, and grateful. It’s not shameful, uncool, or hard. It is the necessary attitude to be who you want to be.