Reflecting on our Grey Feelings: Comfort, Self-Discovery, and You

My favorite self-discovery quote:

I know who I am. I love who I am. I like what i do, and I like how I do it. And I like my mistakes, and I like the way I learn. And the pace with which I learn my mistakes. I don't want to be anyone else but me”

-Zoe Saldana

Truthfully, I have been in a motivation funk. Some may call that writer's block, and I guess that’s what it is, but it also feels like that isn’t giving justice to what’s happening inside my mind. What happens in all of our minds from time to time.

It’s difficult, though, isn’t it? Just being a person. You don’t even have to be in pursuit of anything just to have that block inside of you, that weird feeling that mocks the color grey. It’s not a devastating feeling like anything on the black or red spectrum, but it’s also definitely nothing like yellow, green, or blue.

It is being in limbo. And the weirdest part of it all is that I don’t necessarily hate it. It almost feels like when you are buffering, waiting to fully load so you can plunge into the next burst of motivation.

It almost feels good to be grey at times, like that is also a human experience that is so uncomplicated-- yet so oddly beautiful? The simplistic nature of being content, trusting yourself, and breathing, knowing that, yes, something else is coming, but it doesn’t need to be rushed into your life right now.

Maybe those moments when things seem a bit grey are our bodies kindly nudging us to give our minds a break and just enjoy the here and now. Like the grey feeling is a reminder that it’s okay just to be and that a part of self-discovery is also resting in the present.

I came back from a nine-day solo vacation, was rather busy with my 9-5, and then had my weekends filled with plans. At first, I was upset with myself for not immediately jumping back into my healthy routines and my grinding goal pursuits. I mean, I was still acting on them, but not with my usual intense energy; I wasn’t feeling the colors of life.

Instead, I was grey. And after weeks of being in grey, I can feel the colors inside of me spark back into bursting notions. After reflecting, I'm happy I was unmotivated for a while; I was simply in a different state of flow, one that I feel typically has a bad reputation.

It was still a flow, and it was one that, when thought about, actually can be changed to have a peaceful demeanor to it. I talk a lot about being stuck, finding motivation, and putting pieces together to allow your dreams to come true.

But that grey state, those bland feelings, are needed as well. So I don’t know if you are feeling grey and upset: Just a reminder here to say it’s okay!

An all-grey canvas is still one that can be painted on.

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